My very first post was created in July of last year and here I am, nearly 8 months on from there and still attempting to become a thriving blogger. I have completed most of the Thrive Programme and sometimes feel as though I am thriving, and then again sometimes feel like I’ve fallen back into a bog of depression.
I have not worked for the last two years after landing up in hospital for a leg infection and then having a breakdown after coming home because I was so exhausted and feeling useless. I have good days when I think I could cope in the workplace and not so good days when the thought of even applying for another job is enough to make me want to hide under the bed and not come out. Ever. And I have a divan bed with drawers and only the height of the wheels gap, so hiding under it would be a challenge…
My last manager was a misogynistic bully who thought it was okay to fly into a tantrum worthy of a stroppy toddler at the slightest provocation and this is, in part, why I feel panicked at the idea of applying for another job. My advisor at the Job Centre suggested maybe I should consider becoming self employed… um, nice idea but I have no idea what I could do. I celebrated my 60th birthday last summer and most of my working life has been office based. I understand wordprocessing, spreadsheets and databases; I can create PowerPoint presentations and posters using Publisher; I can even insert a formula to add a column of figures in Access. Yes, I am well versed in Microsoft Office. Apple is a tasty fruit and Mac is something you wear in the rain. But I want to do something that allows me to be outside in the fresh air.
I saw a story on Facebook about a guy who started a business as a person walker, as opposed to a dog walker, and even has the t-shirt. I rather like this idea but I am not sure that rural East Anglia is quite ready for this concept yet, although it would be a great way to improve my own fitness levels. I have a friend who suggested I become a home help/cleaner but this does not really involve fresh air. Plus I think my own home could use a cleaner first. Yes I am a stereotypical person with depression who hoards crap (and some of it truly is crap – although my daughter has pointed out that I should qualify this as crap meaning rubbish). As part of my attempts at thriving I am slowly clearing the crap and going for a major declutter but filling your home with masses of old paperwork, magazines and stuff from your deceased parents’ home takes time.
So I shall continue with retraining my brain to think positively about things a la Thrive Programme and I shall attempt (oops, sorry, no) I will find a way to work for myself and I will also continue with my efforts to become a blogger.
Oh, and one final random thought – my daughter told me yesterday that there is going to be a third Minions film…
We will be going to see it! Minions rule – along with fluffy unicorns of course.
randomly thought blog 